I feel so out of place in my own skin. In sense this is normal for me. Whenever im happy for long period of time and things are looking good there is always a downfall. This is my downfall. I don't regret loosing the people that I have already.
Since I lost my two "best friends", I know that my boyfriend is by my side. I'm just hoping nothing happens this time around with him. He may think he isn't perfect for me, but he really is. Sometimes I feel like he knows more about me then I know about myself. He is right majority of the time about me. Like I'll feel sick from anxiety and he is the one to make feel better by just telling me that "I'll be fine, you always are". I know it isn't normal for him to me more positive then me, but it means a lot knowing that all he wants is for me to be happy. I do wish I could let him know I understand how sorry he is about what happened with the us the first time around, but there is no other way of expressing that other then loving him. He means the world to me and I'm lucky to have him during my downfalls. If this means I'm only him by my side for awhile, I don't mind all.
As well as my boyfriend, I have my best friend for the past 2 years. He has always been there for me even when we got into this really big fight last summer. I know perfectly well that I won't be loosing this boy for quite some time, hopefully never. He keeps me sane during these downfalls in my mentality. I don't really need anybody else other then my TRUE best friend and my boyfriend.
After getting this all out of my system I realize that I have decided to keep the two people in my life that have hurt me the most. I don't see a problem with that. I love them. Just hopefully my happiness with them won't lead to loosing them too from a simple downfall, does that make sense? I think I need reassurance.
Well I'm done being down & depressing. I'm gonna go sing to somebody and edit photos. Bye.
